1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,701 [Edward] Previously on Work in Progress... 2 00:00:06,835 --> 00:00:08,270 [Jamal] Your dads in the ICU. 3 00:00:08,403 --> 00:00:10,706 I was obsessed with disappearing. 4 00:00:10,839 --> 00:00:13,641 I ached to blink out of existence. 5 00:00:13,775 --> 00:00:15,777 I just dont know what happens next. 6 00:00:15,911 --> 00:00:16,678 Julia! 7 00:00:16,811 --> 00:00:18,513 I want you to bury Pat. 8 00:00:18,647 --> 00:00:20,482 I want to be accountable. 9 00:00:20,615 --> 00:00:22,283 Jags is in their pod? 10 00:00:22,417 --> 00:00:22,794 [Abby] Oh, yeah. 11 00:00:22,794 --> 00:00:24,052 [Abby] Oh, yeah. 12 00:00:24,186 --> 00:00:26,154 And I made some offhand joke that they were in a throuple 13 00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:28,794 and Alison flipped out, so I kind of think its true. 14 00:00:28,794 --> 00:00:29,223 and Alison flipped out, so I kind of think its true. 15 00:00:29,357 --> 00:00:30,758 On the night of the breakup, 16 00:00:30,892 --> 00:00:33,162 my anger took over and I screamed out his deadname. 17 00:00:33,295 --> 00:00:34,794 I was looking at that last almond. 18 00:00:34,794 --> 00:00:35,130 I was looking at that last almond. 19 00:00:35,264 --> 00:00:38,467 It broke the pattern just enough. 20 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,794 All youve overcome to get to this moment, 21 00:00:40,794 --> 00:00:41,570 All youve overcome to get to this moment, 22 00:00:41,703 --> 00:00:45,540 all that hard work, itll never go away. 23 00:01:00,388 --> 00:01:02,591 [sighing] 24 00:01:17,105 --> 00:01:18,740 [rustling] 25 00:01:23,145 --> 00:01:24,512 [rustling] 26 00:01:25,580 --> 00:01:27,115 Hey... 27 00:01:29,218 --> 00:01:31,319 [young Abby] Look at all your snacks. 28 00:01:31,452 --> 00:01:32,721 Could you please be careful up there? 29 00:01:32,855 --> 00:01:34,690 Theres so much variety. 30 00:01:34,823 --> 00:01:36,725 Uh, yeah, theyre a variety pack. 31 00:01:36,859 --> 00:01:38,561 Whoa... whoa, hands off. 32 00:01:38,694 --> 00:01:39,894 Those are all mine. 33 00:01:40,028 --> 00:01:40,794 Aw, but I am you. 34 00:01:40,794 --> 00:01:41,731 Aw, but I am you. 35 00:01:42,430 --> 00:01:43,531 And Im so hungry. 36 00:01:43,665 --> 00:01:45,000 You were sleeping in there forever. 37 00:01:45,133 --> 00:01:46,794 Okay, dont judge, and Im just doing bits. 38 00:01:46,794 --> 00:01:47,101 Okay, dont judge, and Im just doing bits. 39 00:01:47,235 --> 00:01:48,169 Have as many as you like. 40 00:01:48,303 --> 00:01:49,872 Yes! 41 00:01:50,005 --> 00:01:52,794 Dont worry, Im not gonna get these on Moms couch. 42 00:01:52,794 --> 00:01:53,241 Dont worry, Im not gonna get these on Moms couch. 43 00:01:53,575 --> 00:01:55,211 [chuckling] Good. 44 00:01:58,146 --> 00:01:58,794 Yup! 45 00:01:58,794 --> 00:01:59,181 Yup! 46 00:01:59,314 --> 00:02:00,815 You really did it. 47 00:02:01,449 --> 00:02:02,417 Did what? 48 00:02:02,550 --> 00:02:03,985 Look at this rad apartment. 49 00:02:04,119 --> 00:02:04,794 Yeah, I mean, its a one-bedroom, 50 00:02:04,794 --> 00:02:05,921 Yeah, I mean, its a one-bedroom, 51 00:02:06,054 --> 00:02:08,924 three-floor walk-up, but I like it. 52 00:02:10,659 --> 00:02:10,794 Are we married? 53 00:02:10,794 --> 00:02:11,860 Are we married? 54 00:02:11,993 --> 00:02:13,028 No way. 55 00:02:13,162 --> 00:02:14,262 [chuckling] Good. 56 00:02:14,395 --> 00:02:16,064 Youre like Mary Tyler Moore. 57 00:02:16,198 --> 00:02:16,794 Single woman, big city, livin her life 58 00:02:16,794 --> 00:02:18,033 Single woman, big city, livin her life 59 00:02:18,166 --> 00:02:19,834 without anyone tellin her what to do. 60 00:02:19,968 --> 00:02:21,836 -Okay. -Does Alison know? 61 00:02:22,571 --> 00:02:22,794 That Im not married? 62 00:02:22,794 --> 00:02:23,605 That Im not married? 63 00:02:23,738 --> 00:02:25,474 No, how cool you are! 64 00:02:25,607 --> 00:02:26,741 Thats a good question. 65 00:02:26,875 --> 00:02:28,794 Abby, you made it. 66 00:02:28,794 --> 00:02:29,244 Abby, you made it. 67 00:02:30,078 --> 00:02:31,347 Did I, though? 68 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:34,349 I am literally, and I never use that word lightly, 69 00:02:34,482 --> 00:02:34,794 talking to myself right now. 70 00:02:34,794 --> 00:02:36,651 talking to myself right now. 71 00:02:37,486 --> 00:02:38,554 Dyou have a job? 72 00:02:38,687 --> 00:02:39,588 Yeah. 73 00:02:39,655 --> 00:02:40,656 Uh, downtown. 74 00:02:40,789 --> 00:02:40,794 -Downtown? -Um-hmm. 75 00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,057 -Downtown? -Um-hmm. 76 00:02:42,191 --> 00:02:44,360 -In an office. -In an office? 77 00:02:44,493 --> 00:02:46,128 Oh my God, you are so set! 78 00:02:46,261 --> 00:02:46,794 Im not really sure you know what the word "set" means. 79 00:02:46,794 --> 00:02:48,196 Im not really sure you know what the word "set" means. 80 00:02:48,330 --> 00:02:49,398 But I do, though. 81 00:02:49,531 --> 00:02:50,598 [crunch] 82 00:02:50,732 --> 00:02:52,794 I should tell you now... 83 00:02:52,794 --> 00:02:52,968 I should tell you now... 84 00:02:53,702 --> 00:02:55,838 that none of this 85 00:02:56,505 --> 00:02:58,794 ends the sadness, 86 00:02:58,794 --> 00:02:59,208 ends the sadness, 87 00:02:59,641 --> 00:03:00,975 the scariness, 88 00:03:01,109 --> 00:03:03,678 that terrifying pit in your stomach. 89 00:03:03,812 --> 00:03:04,794 It never goes away. 90 00:03:04,794 --> 00:03:05,981 It never goes away. 91 00:03:08,016 --> 00:03:10,118 [laughs] 92 00:03:10,552 --> 00:03:10,794 Okay. 93 00:03:10,794 --> 00:03:11,786 Okay. 94 00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:13,955 Why are you laughing? 95 00:03:14,088 --> 00:03:16,794 If it never ends, then why did I try so hard to make it stop? 96 00:03:16,794 --> 00:03:18,260 If it never ends, then why did I try so hard to make it stop? 97 00:03:18,393 --> 00:03:20,228 Dont you think thats kind of funny? 98 00:03:20,362 --> 00:03:22,765 We-- We spent so much time trying to make something stop 99 00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:24,966 that never was gonna stop. 100 00:03:31,773 --> 00:03:33,241 [chews] [chuckles] 101 00:03:37,946 --> 00:03:39,914 Its weird about Dad, huh? 102 00:03:41,450 --> 00:03:42,884 [sniffles] 103 00:03:43,284 --> 00:03:44,719 Yeah. 104 00:03:45,854 --> 00:03:46,794 Was it my fault? 105 00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:47,722 Was it my fault? 106 00:03:48,557 --> 00:03:49,624 Absolutely not. 107 00:03:49,758 --> 00:03:51,259 But I was such a burden. 108 00:03:51,393 --> 00:03:52,695 No, you were not. 109 00:03:52,828 --> 00:03:55,397 You were the child and he was the parent. 110 00:03:56,397 --> 00:03:57,965 He was sick. 111 00:03:58,099 --> 00:03:58,794 And he didnt learn how to talk about his feelings, 112 00:03:58,794 --> 00:04:00,435 And he didnt learn how to talk about his feelings, 113 00:04:00,568 --> 00:04:02,103 and that is not on you. 114 00:04:02,237 --> 00:04:04,794 But when he could show up as Dad, it ruled. 115 00:04:04,794 --> 00:04:05,340 But when he could show up as Dad, it ruled. 116 00:04:07,676 --> 00:04:09,344 I think he was giving 117 00:04:09,477 --> 00:04:10,794 as much as he could at the time. 118 00:04:10,794 --> 00:04:11,913 as much as he could at the time. 119 00:04:12,847 --> 00:04:16,384 I just really hate that you, 120 00:04:17,085 --> 00:04:18,587 we, 121 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,256 were left holding the bag 122 00:04:21,924 --> 00:04:22,794 and feeling... 123 00:04:22,794 --> 00:04:23,893 and feeling... 124 00:04:24,793 --> 00:04:26,728 Every single thing. 125 00:04:27,763 --> 00:04:28,794 All the time. 126 00:04:28,794 --> 00:04:29,131 All the time. 127 00:04:29,264 --> 00:04:30,966 But I know now 128 00:04:31,099 --> 00:04:33,268 that nobody is perfect. 129 00:04:34,436 --> 00:04:34,794 Mom was. 130 00:04:34,794 --> 00:04:35,504 Mom was. 131 00:04:35,637 --> 00:04:36,839 Ha! 132 00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:38,874 No, she wasnt. 133 00:04:39,007 --> 00:04:40,708 Heres a little fact for ya. 134 00:04:40,841 --> 00:04:43,611 Every child needs to feel that one of their parents 135 00:04:43,745 --> 00:04:45,614 has all of their shit together. 136 00:04:45,747 --> 00:04:46,794 It helps make the world feel stable. 137 00:04:46,794 --> 00:04:48,316 It helps make the world feel stable. 138 00:04:48,450 --> 00:04:50,318 Ah... news flash, 139 00:04:50,451 --> 00:04:51,787 world felt unstable anyways. 140 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:52,794 And news flash, [imitates breaking news music] 141 00:04:52,794 --> 00:04:54,789 And news flash, [imitates breaking news music] 142 00:04:54,923 --> 00:04:56,457 uh, that never ends. 143 00:04:56,591 --> 00:04:58,794 -Huh. -We are truly fucked. 144 00:04:58,794 --> 00:05:00,395 -Huh. -We are truly fucked. 145 00:05:00,929 --> 00:05:03,131 [chuckling] 146 00:05:05,767 --> 00:05:07,501 You are so dark. 147 00:05:07,635 --> 00:05:08,970 Rink! 148 00:05:11,006 --> 00:05:12,307 [message alert] 149 00:05:14,442 --> 00:05:15,943 That is a phone? 150 00:05:16,077 --> 00:05:16,794 Youre like Captain Kirk. 151 00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:17,912 Youre like Captain Kirk. 152 00:05:18,045 --> 00:05:21,149 Ah, mm-mm, Captain Kirk was Alisons crush. 153 00:05:21,683 --> 00:05:22,794 I loved Bones. 154 00:05:22,794 --> 00:05:24,085 I loved Bones. 155 00:05:24,218 --> 00:05:25,219 Hubba hubba. 156 00:05:25,353 --> 00:05:26,320 Hello? 157 00:05:26,454 --> 00:05:27,989 Hello? Can anyone hear me? 158 00:05:28,556 --> 00:05:28,794 [robotic voice] Do you read me? 159 00:05:28,794 --> 00:05:30,158 [robotic voice] Do you read me? 160 00:05:31,359 --> 00:05:32,961 Over. 161 00:05:33,094 --> 00:05:34,662 Whats the switch by the sink? 162 00:05:34,796 --> 00:05:35,797 [grinding] 163 00:05:35,930 --> 00:05:37,465 Oh, thats the garbage disposal. 164 00:05:38,266 --> 00:05:40,794 -[turning off and on] -So-- youre-- a-- millionaire? 165 00:05:40,794 --> 00:05:41,469 -[turning off and on] -So-- youre-- a-- millionaire? 166 00:05:41,603 --> 00:05:43,705 I really forgot how low my standards were. 167 00:05:43,838 --> 00:05:46,174 -[message alert] -[grinding stops] 168 00:05:47,942 --> 00:05:50,345 So, how are we gonna treat ourselves today? 169 00:05:50,478 --> 00:05:52,046 How do you mean? 170 00:05:52,180 --> 00:05:52,794 Well, Dr. Oh says you gotta treat yourself every day. 171 00:05:52,794 --> 00:05:54,382 Well, Dr. Oh says you gotta treat yourself every day. 172 00:06:00,188 --> 00:06:02,056 [Abby] You belong to this place? 173 00:06:02,190 --> 00:06:04,359 [Julia] Guilty. Al loves to golf. 174 00:06:04,492 --> 00:06:04,794 Uh, your husband is the most aggressively normal person 175 00:06:04,794 --> 00:06:07,929 Uh, your husband is the most aggressively normal person 176 00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:09,298 -Ive ever met. -[chuckles] 177 00:06:09,431 --> 00:06:10,794 Well, people are full of surprises. 178 00:06:10,794 --> 00:06:11,032 Well, people are full of surprises. 179 00:06:11,166 --> 00:06:12,367 [chuckling] Yeah, they are. 180 00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:13,769 I figured if we came now, 181 00:06:13,902 --> 00:06:15,970 we could avoid a lot of cart traffic. 182 00:06:16,938 --> 00:06:18,973 And this lagoon is going to be perfect 183 00:06:19,107 --> 00:06:21,342 for our little ceremony. 184 00:06:21,843 --> 00:06:22,794 Ceremony? 185 00:06:22,794 --> 00:06:23,078 Ceremony? 186 00:06:23,211 --> 00:06:24,579 Well, Ive been searching for a way 187 00:06:24,712 --> 00:06:26,280 to make my feelings real. 188 00:06:26,414 --> 00:06:27,615 To take action, 189 00:06:27,748 --> 00:06:28,794 to make a bold gesture! 190 00:06:28,794 --> 00:06:29,651 to make a bold gesture! 191 00:06:29,785 --> 00:06:31,653 Oh, okay, Norma Rae. 192 00:06:31,786 --> 00:06:32,887 [gasps] 193 00:06:33,021 --> 00:06:34,389 Here we are. 194 00:06:34,523 --> 00:06:34,794 Isnt this perfect? 195 00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:36,224 Isnt this perfect? 196 00:06:38,693 --> 00:06:40,794 The curator of the NBC museum 197 00:06:40,794 --> 00:06:41,028 The curator of the NBC museum 198 00:06:41,162 --> 00:06:43,765 has reached out several times about this costume, 199 00:06:43,898 --> 00:06:46,794 but I cant profit from pain anymore. 200 00:06:46,794 --> 00:06:46,868 but I cant profit from pain anymore. 201 00:06:48,002 --> 00:06:50,438 Julia, I cannot believe youre doing this. 202 00:06:50,572 --> 00:06:51,539 Oh, yes, Im doing it. 203 00:06:51,673 --> 00:06:52,708 Holy shit, Julia, what-- 204 00:06:52,841 --> 00:06:54,376 Are you starting a fire? 205 00:06:54,509 --> 00:06:56,511 Oh, we go through so much of this when Al barbecues. 206 00:06:56,644 --> 00:06:58,313 He likes an even sear. 207 00:06:58,446 --> 00:06:58,794 I have to make sure the fire is a real blaze, 208 00:06:58,794 --> 00:07:00,948 I have to make sure the fire is a real blaze, 209 00:07:01,082 --> 00:07:03,985 or I risk not truly letting go for the cleansing. 210 00:07:04,118 --> 00:07:04,794 I read that on the Health and Wellness blog. 211 00:07:04,794 --> 00:07:05,987 I read that on the Health and Wellness blog. 212 00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:08,723 Its called Nans New Leaf of Life Lessons. 213 00:07:08,857 --> 00:07:10,158 You should check it out. 214 00:07:10,291 --> 00:07:10,794 Its a spiritual game changer. 215 00:07:10,794 --> 00:07:12,260 Its a spiritual game changer. 216 00:07:17,165 --> 00:07:18,600 -[chuckling] -[chuckling] Here you go. 217 00:07:18,733 --> 00:07:20,101 -Here we go. -Get it right. 218 00:07:21,603 --> 00:07:22,671 Oh! [chuckles] 219 00:07:22,804 --> 00:07:23,772 Shoot! Im not a good aim. 220 00:07:23,905 --> 00:07:25,306 Thats okay. 221 00:07:26,074 --> 00:07:27,642 Oh, for Petes-- 222 00:07:27,775 --> 00:07:28,794 Dont look at me. This is all you. 223 00:07:28,794 --> 00:07:29,377 Dont look at me. This is all you. 224 00:07:29,510 --> 00:07:30,611 You gotta do it. 225 00:07:30,745 --> 00:07:31,946 Okay. 226 00:07:33,715 --> 00:07:34,649 [startled] Whoa! 227 00:07:34,783 --> 00:07:34,794 Oh! 228 00:07:34,794 --> 00:07:35,683 Oh! 229 00:07:35,817 --> 00:07:37,052 Holy shit, Julia! 230 00:07:37,185 --> 00:07:38,419 [Julia] Oh! Oh, okay. 231 00:07:38,553 --> 00:07:39,621 Oh, boy. Okay, 232 00:07:39,754 --> 00:07:40,794 here we go. 233 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:40,888 here we go. 234 00:07:41,022 --> 00:07:42,457 All right. 235 00:07:43,458 --> 00:07:44,392 Oh. 236 00:07:44,492 --> 00:07:45,393 [inhales, exhales] 237 00:07:45,460 --> 00:07:46,794 Goodbye, cruelty. 238 00:07:46,794 --> 00:07:47,396 Goodbye, cruelty. 239 00:07:48,596 --> 00:07:51,599 Goodbye, persecution of the gender-nonconforming. 240 00:07:52,901 --> 00:07:55,570 Goodbye, hurtful scratchy khakis. 241 00:07:57,105 --> 00:07:58,641 And finally... 242 00:07:59,240 --> 00:07:59,942 Oh, God. 243 00:08:00,075 --> 00:08:01,343 Its okay. 244 00:08:01,476 --> 00:08:03,512 Im a member. Were doing a ritual. 245 00:08:03,645 --> 00:08:04,794 Its very healing for us. 246 00:08:04,794 --> 00:08:05,313 Its very healing for us. 247 00:08:05,447 --> 00:08:07,949 Weve been going through a rough patch. 248 00:08:09,851 --> 00:08:10,794 Okay, where was I? 249 00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:11,119 Okay, where was I? 250 00:08:11,252 --> 00:08:13,220 Um... hurtful scratchy khakis. 251 00:08:13,354 --> 00:08:14,522 Okay, yes. 252 00:08:16,291 --> 00:08:16,794 Pat, 253 00:08:16,794 --> 00:08:17,525 Pat, 254 00:08:17,659 --> 00:08:19,361 I release you. 255 00:08:19,995 --> 00:08:22,531 You are released! 256 00:08:24,599 --> 00:08:26,634 You gave me so much. 257 00:08:28,970 --> 00:08:31,339 And many still cherish you to this day. 258 00:08:33,341 --> 00:08:34,342 But... 259 00:08:36,411 --> 00:08:38,146 but now... 260 00:08:38,512 --> 00:08:39,481 Julia? 261 00:08:39,614 --> 00:08:40,794 -Oh! -Julia, what are you doing?! 262 00:08:40,794 --> 00:08:41,315 -Oh! -Julia, what are you doing?! 263 00:08:41,449 --> 00:08:42,651 I cant do it! 264 00:08:42,784 --> 00:08:44,552 Im still getting residuals. 265 00:08:44,686 --> 00:08:46,554 NYU is very expensive! 266 00:08:46,687 --> 00:08:46,794 I need you, Pat! 267 00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,055 I need you, Pat! 268 00:08:48,189 --> 00:08:50,058 -I need you! -Julia, you dont need Pat! 269 00:08:50,191 --> 00:08:52,794 -Come back! -Julia! 270 00:08:52,794 --> 00:08:52,894 -Come back! -Julia! 271 00:08:53,028 --> 00:08:53,962 I cant. 272 00:08:54,129 --> 00:08:55,163 I need you, please. 273 00:08:55,296 --> 00:08:57,031 -I need you! -Julia! 274 00:08:57,832 --> 00:08:58,794 Im kind of embarrassed about my freak-out back there. 275 00:08:58,794 --> 00:09:01,202 Im kind of embarrassed about my freak-out back there. 276 00:09:01,336 --> 00:09:03,438 That was harder than I thought it was gonna be. 277 00:09:03,572 --> 00:09:04,794 I know it was. 278 00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:04,840 I know it was. 279 00:09:04,973 --> 00:09:06,341 Oh, God. 280 00:09:06,474 --> 00:09:07,208 Hi! 281 00:09:07,275 --> 00:09:09,378 Yes, its us again. 282 00:09:09,511 --> 00:09:10,746 Hi! 283 00:09:10,879 --> 00:09:13,448 Im just helping my friend incinerate her past 284 00:09:13,581 --> 00:09:16,794 with a floating golf course funeral pyre! 285 00:09:16,794 --> 00:09:17,018 with a floating golf course funeral pyre! 286 00:09:17,752 --> 00:09:19,655 Say hi to your mistresses. 287 00:09:19,788 --> 00:09:21,289 [chuckles] 288 00:09:21,423 --> 00:09:22,794 I think that Al should find a different boring hobby. 289 00:09:22,794 --> 00:09:24,759 I think that Al should find a different boring hobby. 290 00:09:24,892 --> 00:09:27,361 Yeah, well, I think its going to be mandatory. 291 00:09:27,495 --> 00:09:28,563 [chuckles] 292 00:09:28,696 --> 00:09:28,794 I like going someplace with someone more 293 00:09:28,794 --> 00:09:29,997 I like going someplace with someone more 294 00:09:30,131 --> 00:09:31,299 destructive than me. 295 00:09:31,432 --> 00:09:33,568 -It feels good. -[both laugh] 296 00:09:33,701 --> 00:09:34,794 So Mike and I are prepping Matty for Saturday, 297 00:09:34,794 --> 00:09:36,137 So Mike and I are prepping Matty for Saturday, 298 00:09:36,271 --> 00:09:37,672 but I think he might still try to hug you. 299 00:09:37,805 --> 00:09:40,741 Well, uh, Aly, you know thats my effect on men. 300 00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:42,276 What are you gonna do? 301 00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:43,778 [chuckling] You know what? 302 00:09:43,911 --> 00:09:45,312 Dont forget a blanket. 303 00:09:45,446 --> 00:09:46,214 Okay. 304 00:09:46,347 --> 00:09:46,794 Oh, look who it is. 305 00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:47,415 Oh, look who it is. 306 00:09:47,549 --> 00:09:49,217 -Hi, Abby. -Hey, bub. 307 00:09:49,351 --> 00:09:51,153 Uh, sorry, but I cant hug you on Saturday. 308 00:09:51,286 --> 00:09:52,794 I know. Im bummed too. Well still have fun. 309 00:09:52,794 --> 00:09:53,788 I know. Im bummed too. Well still have fun. 310 00:09:53,921 --> 00:09:55,622 We cant wait to see you. Well see you soon, okay? 311 00:09:55,756 --> 00:09:56,991 -We love you. -Okay, great. I love you too. 312 00:09:57,125 --> 00:09:58,560 Matty, never smoke. 313 00:09:58,693 --> 00:09:58,794 Oh, yeah. Dont do whats Abby doing. 314 00:09:58,794 --> 00:10:00,094 Oh, yeah. Dont do whats Abby doing. 315 00:10:00,228 --> 00:10:01,296 -Goodbye. -General good rule. 316 00:10:01,429 --> 00:10:02,764 -Goodbye. -Bye. 317 00:10:09,137 --> 00:10:10,794 I have that same ribbon. 318 00:10:10,794 --> 00:10:11,139 I have that same ribbon. 319 00:10:12,807 --> 00:10:14,242 How its goin? 320 00:10:20,982 --> 00:10:22,794 Ugh, fuck. 321 00:10:22,794 --> 00:10:23,384 Ugh, fuck. 322 00:10:26,888 --> 00:10:28,790 Hey, Abby. 323 00:10:28,923 --> 00:10:29,890 Hey, Chris. 324 00:10:30,024 --> 00:10:31,526 Whatre--whatre you doing here? 325 00:10:31,659 --> 00:10:34,395 I just wanted to come by and say thank you in person 326 00:10:34,529 --> 00:10:34,794 for donating to my GoFundMe. 327 00:10:34,794 --> 00:10:36,864 for donating to my GoFundMe. 328 00:10:37,198 --> 00:10:38,833 I-I didnt. 329 00:10:38,967 --> 00:10:40,134 You did. 330 00:10:40,267 --> 00:10:40,794 [scoffs] Thats supposed to be anonymous. 331 00:10:40,794 --> 00:10:42,603 [scoffs] Thats supposed to be anonymous. 332 00:10:42,737 --> 00:10:45,139 The fundraiser is given the names of everyone 333 00:10:45,273 --> 00:10:46,794 who donates along with their emails 334 00:10:46,794 --> 00:10:46,941 who donates along with their emails 335 00:10:47,074 --> 00:10:48,309 and their donation amounts. 336 00:10:48,443 --> 00:10:50,745 Well, thats not very anonymous, is it? 337 00:10:50,878 --> 00:10:52,580 Look, Chris, 338 00:10:52,714 --> 00:10:52,794 I just want you to know that this isnt 339 00:10:52,794 --> 00:10:54,583 I just want you to know that this isnt 340 00:10:54,716 --> 00:10:57,252 coming from some savior bullshit place. 341 00:10:57,385 --> 00:10:58,794 Im not getting off by don-- 342 00:10:58,794 --> 00:10:59,421 Im not getting off by don-- 343 00:10:59,554 --> 00:11:00,788 I-I know. 344 00:11:00,922 --> 00:11:02,957 -I know. -You owe me nothing. 345 00:11:03,757 --> 00:11:04,794 I mean, you can reject the donation if you want. 346 00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:06,660 I mean, you can reject the donation if you want. 347 00:11:06,794 --> 00:11:08,629 I thought about that. 348 00:11:09,530 --> 00:11:10,794 In the end, Im practicing the radical self-care 349 00:11:10,794 --> 00:11:11,632 In the end, Im practicing the radical self-care 350 00:11:11,766 --> 00:11:14,102 of being okay with accepting your money. 351 00:11:14,235 --> 00:11:15,970 Okay. [chuckles] 352 00:11:16,103 --> 00:11:16,794 Well, thats good then. 353 00:11:16,794 --> 00:11:17,471 Well, thats good then. 354 00:11:17,605 --> 00:11:19,673 It comes from some corporate bullshit job, 355 00:11:19,807 --> 00:11:21,509 so Im glad it can do something good. 356 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:27,648 Its an almond cake. 357 00:11:30,285 --> 00:11:31,453 You know what? Im good. 358 00:11:31,586 --> 00:11:33,287 Oh, I got it especially for you. 359 00:11:33,421 --> 00:11:34,794 Chris, I texted you that I didnt want to meet up. 360 00:11:34,794 --> 00:11:35,556 Chris, I texted you that I didnt want to meet up. 361 00:11:35,689 --> 00:11:36,624 I know. 362 00:11:36,758 --> 00:11:38,293 Ive said all that I wanted to say. 363 00:11:38,426 --> 00:11:39,893 If you had listened to my messages-- 364 00:11:40,027 --> 00:11:40,794 I did. 365 00:11:40,794 --> 00:11:41,195 I did. 366 00:11:41,329 --> 00:11:43,598 All of them, many times. 367 00:11:43,731 --> 00:11:44,732 Okay. 368 00:11:44,865 --> 00:11:46,234 And you didnt call me back? 369 00:11:46,367 --> 00:11:46,794 -I-I couldnt. -And look, thats your right. 370 00:11:46,794 --> 00:11:47,869 -I-I couldnt. -And look, thats your right. 371 00:11:48,002 --> 00:11:49,837 -I totally get it. -Look, Abby, I was afraid. 372 00:11:49,971 --> 00:11:52,794 I... I couldnt return your calls because I was afraid. 373 00:11:52,794 --> 00:11:53,241 I... I couldnt return your calls because I was afraid. 374 00:11:53,374 --> 00:11:56,544 And then you sent in that donation and-- 375 00:11:57,412 --> 00:11:58,794 [exhales] Fuck. 376 00:11:58,794 --> 00:11:59,547 [exhales] Fuck. 377 00:12:00,882 --> 00:12:02,683 Can I put this somewhere? 378 00:12:05,219 --> 00:12:07,421 I mean, yeah, you can put it there. 379 00:12:18,799 --> 00:12:20,501 So about the cake. 380 00:12:21,102 --> 00:12:22,570 Abs, Im sorry. 381 00:12:24,405 --> 00:12:25,939 It was just a bad idea. 382 00:12:26,073 --> 00:12:27,574 Yeah. 383 00:12:27,708 --> 00:12:28,794 I thought it would be this cute icebreaker that would... 384 00:12:28,794 --> 00:12:30,244 I thought it would be this cute icebreaker that would... 385 00:12:31,745 --> 00:12:34,549 make it easier to talk, but it wasnt. 386 00:12:35,183 --> 00:12:37,920 And it isnt. 387 00:12:39,153 --> 00:12:40,488 Chris, what are we even doing? 388 00:12:40,622 --> 00:12:40,794 What is there left to say? 389 00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:42,656 What is there left to say? 390 00:12:42,790 --> 00:12:44,425 I dont understand. 391 00:12:46,794 --> 00:12:49,263 I hear about you sometimes from King. 392 00:12:51,199 --> 00:12:52,700 They dont say much. 393 00:12:54,268 --> 00:12:56,270 I think theyre being protective of me. 394 00:12:57,872 --> 00:12:58,794 And you. 395 00:12:58,794 --> 00:12:59,273 And you. 396 00:13:01,109 --> 00:13:03,044 But its nice to hear that youre doing okay. 397 00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:04,794 I think King is somewhat of an eternal optimist. 398 00:13:04,794 --> 00:13:06,914 I think King is somewhat of an eternal optimist. 399 00:13:07,815 --> 00:13:09,250 Maybe. 400 00:13:09,383 --> 00:13:10,794 Chris, Ive done a lot of work since that night. 401 00:13:10,794 --> 00:13:12,552 Chris, Ive done a lot of work since that night. 402 00:13:12,686 --> 00:13:16,794 And I cannot wrap my brain around what I did to you. 403 00:13:16,794 --> 00:13:16,958 And I cannot wrap my brain around what I did to you. 404 00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:20,294 That act of violence. 405 00:13:21,829 --> 00:13:22,794 And I just need 406 00:13:22,794 --> 00:13:24,632 And I just need 407 00:13:24,765 --> 00:13:27,268 to figure out how to live with that. 408 00:13:30,571 --> 00:13:33,808 After Galena, and that night at the MTA, 409 00:13:35,009 --> 00:13:36,844 I realized it was over. 410 00:13:38,312 --> 00:13:39,814 [exhales] 411 00:13:42,183 --> 00:13:43,918 I realized I had a way out. 412 00:13:46,421 --> 00:13:46,794 My escape. 413 00:13:46,794 --> 00:13:48,356 My escape. 414 00:13:49,891 --> 00:13:51,826 I was relieved. 415 00:13:53,694 --> 00:13:54,728 [exhales] 416 00:13:55,663 --> 00:13:57,499 I never let on how scared shitless I was 417 00:13:57,632 --> 00:13:58,794 of those fucking almonds. 418 00:13:58,794 --> 00:13:59,100 of those fucking almonds. 419 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,637 Thats why I never answered your calls. 420 00:14:04,272 --> 00:14:04,794 I was too scared. 421 00:14:04,794 --> 00:14:06,008 I was too scared. 422 00:14:09,910 --> 00:14:10,794 Too overwhelmed. 423 00:14:10,794 --> 00:14:11,379 Too overwhelmed. 424 00:14:13,081 --> 00:14:15,283 Im glad you made it out on the other side of 425 00:14:15,416 --> 00:14:16,794 that whole thing okay. 426 00:14:16,794 --> 00:14:17,852 that whole thing okay. 427 00:14:17,985 --> 00:14:20,554 And I am ashamed that I couldnt help you through it. 428 00:14:22,890 --> 00:14:25,292 And that is something I have to live with. 429 00:14:26,661 --> 00:14:28,029 [sniffs] 430 00:14:30,264 --> 00:14:34,035 Chris, were two people that could only go that far. 431 00:14:36,236 --> 00:14:38,939 I have my limits and you have yours. 432 00:14:39,073 --> 00:14:40,794 And we werent gonna be able to take it beyond that night. 433 00:14:40,794 --> 00:14:42,343 And we werent gonna be able to take it beyond that night. 434 00:14:45,679 --> 00:14:46,794 Abby, I am glad we met. 435 00:14:46,794 --> 00:14:48,115 Abby, I am glad we met. 436 00:14:48,249 --> 00:14:50,885 You mean youre glad my sister forced us to meet, right? 437 00:14:51,018 --> 00:14:52,253 [chuckling] 438 00:14:52,386 --> 00:14:52,794 Yeah, me-- me too. 439 00:14:52,794 --> 00:14:54,088 Yeah, me-- me too. 440 00:14:54,222 --> 00:14:55,824 [sniffs] 441 00:14:56,624 --> 00:14:58,794 Well, please dont take my thoughtlessness 442 00:14:58,794 --> 00:14:59,227 Well, please dont take my thoughtlessness 443 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:00,527 out on the cake. 444 00:15:00,661 --> 00:15:02,596 Cakes innocent in all this. 445 00:15:03,531 --> 00:15:04,794 Ill think about it. 446 00:15:04,794 --> 00:15:05,399 Ill think about it. 447 00:15:38,199 --> 00:15:39,633 [scoffs] 448 00:15:46,307 --> 00:15:46,794 ♪♪ Not supposed to make you cry? ♪♪ 449 00:15:46,794 --> 00:15:48,809 ♪♪ Not supposed to make you cry? ♪♪ 450 00:15:51,111 --> 00:15:52,179 ♪♪ Damn, I... ♪♪ 451 00:15:52,313 --> 00:15:52,794 Holy shit! 452 00:15:52,794 --> 00:15:53,681 Holy shit! 453 00:15:54,781 --> 00:15:57,051 ♪♪ I just dont know good lovin ♪♪ 454 00:15:59,386 --> 00:16:01,555 ♪♪ The right way ♪♪ 455 00:16:02,590 --> 00:16:04,794 ♪♪ I cant be your baby no more ♪♪ 456 00:16:04,794 --> 00:16:04,925 ♪♪ I cant be your baby no more ♪♪ 457 00:16:10,231 --> 00:16:10,794 ♪♪ I cant be your baby no more... ♪♪ 458 00:16:10,794 --> 00:16:11,466 ♪♪ I cant be your baby no more... ♪♪ 459 00:16:11,599 --> 00:16:13,634 Hmm. All right. 460 00:16:16,404 --> 00:16:16,794 Oh my God, there she is. 461 00:16:16,794 --> 00:16:17,938 Oh my God, there she is. 462 00:16:18,773 --> 00:16:20,341 Retired? 463 00:16:20,474 --> 00:16:22,644 Well, of course shes retired, Abby. 464 00:16:22,777 --> 00:16:22,794 Shes in her fucking 70s. 465 00:16:22,794 --> 00:16:25,113 Shes in her fucking 70s. 466 00:16:25,413 --> 00:16:27,248 Moving on. 467 00:16:27,948 --> 00:16:28,794 [mutters] Depression, suicidality for kicks, 468 00:16:28,794 --> 00:16:33,154 [mutters] Depression, suicidality for kicks, 469 00:16:34,322 --> 00:16:34,794 hmm... loving. 470 00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,491 hmm... loving. 471 00:16:41,195 --> 00:16:42,429 H. Joy? 472 00:16:42,563 --> 00:16:44,932 Thats a little on the nose. 473 00:16:47,268 --> 00:16:48,502 Oh. 474 00:16:51,105 --> 00:16:52,774 Okay, Dr. Joy. 475 00:16:52,907 --> 00:16:56,077 This is Abby McEnany coming in hot, 476 00:16:56,210 --> 00:16:57,611 Rink! 477 00:17:02,449 --> 00:17:04,117 [sighs] 478 00:17:04,251 --> 00:17:04,794 ♪♪ Must be dead ♪♪ 479 00:17:04,794 --> 00:17:05,586 ♪♪ Must be dead ♪♪ 480 00:17:05,719 --> 00:17:07,988 ♪♪ Am I sick ♪♪ 481 00:17:08,122 --> 00:17:09,991 ♪♪ In my head? ♪♪ 482 00:17:10,124 --> 00:17:10,794 ♪♪ Am I wrong? ♪♪ 483 00:17:10,794 --> 00:17:11,826 ♪♪ Am I wrong? ♪♪ 484 00:17:21,235 --> 00:17:22,670 Hmm. 485 00:17:27,508 --> 00:17:28,794 Oh, fuck it. 486 00:17:28,794 --> 00:17:29,076 Oh, fuck it. 487 00:17:44,525 --> 00:17:46,194 [door opens, closes] 488 00:17:46,327 --> 00:17:46,794 [message alert chimes] 489 00:17:46,794 --> 00:17:47,828 [message alert chimes] 490 00:17:48,362 --> 00:17:49,564 Sam? 491 00:17:49,697 --> 00:17:51,765 -[driver] Hyde Park? -Yes, please. 492 00:18:10,217 --> 00:18:10,794 [shouts] Whats your name? 493 00:18:10,794 --> 00:18:12,186 [shouts] Whats your name? 494 00:18:18,191 --> 00:18:21,494 Sam, that is the most shared oxygen Ive had with a stranger 495 00:18:21,628 --> 00:18:22,794 -since early March. -[chuckling] 496 00:18:22,794 --> 00:18:23,229 -since early March. -[chuckling] 497 00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:25,599 -Enjoy your family. -Bye. 498 00:18:27,168 --> 00:18:28,794 [indistinct chatter] 499 00:18:28,794 --> 00:18:28,969 [indistinct chatter] 500 00:18:29,670 --> 00:18:30,905 [Carol Lynn] My loves... 501 00:18:31,038 --> 00:18:32,573 [Abby] Hey. 502 00:18:32,707 --> 00:18:34,041 ...the birthday boy. 503 00:18:34,174 --> 00:18:34,794 [all cheer] 504 00:18:34,794 --> 00:18:35,543 [all cheer] 505 00:18:35,676 --> 00:18:37,277 -Happy birthday, Grandpa! -[Abby] Oh, my God. 506 00:18:37,411 --> 00:18:38,579 Matty? 507 00:18:38,713 --> 00:18:39,981 Matty, is that you? 508 00:18:40,114 --> 00:18:40,794 I can hear you, but I cant see you. 509 00:18:40,794 --> 00:18:41,816 I can hear you, but I cant see you. 510 00:18:41,949 --> 00:18:44,151 -Classic. -This is wonderful. 511 00:18:44,285 --> 00:18:45,886 Um, 512 00:18:46,453 --> 00:18:46,794 seventy-three... 513 00:18:46,794 --> 00:18:47,888 seventy-three... 514 00:18:48,021 --> 00:18:51,125 never thought Id live to see the day. [chuckles] 515 00:18:53,327 --> 00:18:54,729 What? Too soon? 516 00:18:54,862 --> 00:18:57,731 Yeah, Dad, actually way too soon. 517 00:18:58,365 --> 00:18:58,794 Fuck. 518 00:18:58,794 --> 00:18:59,400 Fuck. 519 00:18:59,533 --> 00:19:00,601 [Matty over megaphone] Language. 520 00:19:00,734 --> 00:19:02,636 What do you want from me, Matty? 521 00:19:02,770 --> 00:19:04,205 Another five bucks? 522 00:19:04,338 --> 00:19:04,794 You cleaned me dry. 523 00:19:04,794 --> 00:19:05,573 You cleaned me dry. 524 00:19:05,706 --> 00:19:07,908 [upbeat music playing] 525 00:19:14,282 --> 00:19:15,817 You look good, kid. 526 00:19:16,717 --> 00:19:16,794 I was gonna say the same thing to you. 527 00:19:16,794 --> 00:19:19,119 I was gonna say the same thing to you. 528 00:19:20,221 --> 00:19:22,656 [Edward] You know, Carol Lynn was right. 529 00:19:23,491 --> 00:19:25,160 I needed this. 530 00:19:26,260 --> 00:19:27,962 I think we all did. 531 00:19:29,530 --> 00:19:30,898 And Im... 532 00:19:31,031 --> 00:19:33,934 Im really glad that youre here. 533 00:19:35,769 --> 00:19:38,105 Im really glad youre here, too. 534 00:19:43,711 --> 00:19:45,779 And lets not forget Jags. 535 00:19:45,913 --> 00:19:46,794 Thank God hes here. 536 00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:47,548 Thank God hes here. 537 00:19:47,681 --> 00:19:50,284 -I mean, what the fuck? -[both laugh] 538 00:19:50,418 --> 00:19:52,686 [Edward] I was gonna say the same thing. 539 00:19:52,819 --> 00:19:54,254 Maybe they adopted him. 540 00:19:54,388 --> 00:19:57,691 I think that we have made the kids wait long enough. 541 00:19:58,292 --> 00:19:58,794 Time for cake. 542 00:19:58,794 --> 00:19:59,360 Time for cake. 543 00:19:59,493 --> 00:20:00,561 -[Mike] Thank God. -Yes. 544 00:20:00,694 --> 00:20:02,162 -Shall we, Dad? -We shall. 545 00:20:02,296 --> 00:20:03,397 All right. 546 00:20:03,530 --> 00:20:04,665 Its a really nice party. 547 00:20:04,799 --> 00:20:06,233 You did a good job. 548 00:20:06,366 --> 00:20:08,302 And at least its not a funeral. 549 00:20:08,436 --> 00:20:09,737 [chuckles] 550 00:20:09,870 --> 00:20:10,794 Carol Lynn let me plan the whole thing. 551 00:20:10,794 --> 00:20:11,138 Carol Lynn let me plan the whole thing. 552 00:20:11,272 --> 00:20:13,574 -Okay. Yeah. -So thank you, and ha-ha. 553 00:20:13,707 --> 00:20:15,175 I mean... 554 00:20:15,309 --> 00:20:16,794 I gotta say, it seems like youre doing way better 555 00:20:16,794 --> 00:20:17,045 I gotta say, it seems like youre doing way better 556 00:20:17,178 --> 00:20:19,246 than you were the last time I saw you. 557 00:20:19,813 --> 00:20:21,549 Yeah, I am. 558 00:20:22,116 --> 00:20:22,794 [Abby] Do you want to go join them? 559 00:20:22,794 --> 00:20:23,450 [Abby] Do you want to go join them? 560 00:20:23,584 --> 00:20:26,053 Oh, no, no. Im good. Yeah. 561 00:20:26,186 --> 00:20:28,722 Hey, whats the deal with you guys? 562 00:20:29,323 --> 00:20:30,391 Nothing. 563 00:20:33,293 --> 00:20:34,194 You can tell me. 564 00:20:34,328 --> 00:20:34,794 I dont... 565 00:20:34,794 --> 00:20:35,662 I dont... 566 00:20:35,796 --> 00:20:37,398 Whats going on with you and Mike? 567 00:20:37,531 --> 00:20:38,632 What did he tell you? 568 00:20:38,766 --> 00:20:39,700 [Abby] Nothing. 569 00:20:39,833 --> 00:20:40,794 He didnt have to. 570 00:20:40,794 --> 00:20:41,001 He didnt have to. 571 00:20:41,135 --> 00:20:43,070 Ali, its been clear for months 572 00:20:43,203 --> 00:20:46,139 that theres something youre all going through. 573 00:20:46,907 --> 00:20:50,244 Its just, um, you know, with Dad and COVID, 574 00:20:50,378 --> 00:20:52,794 its been stressful around the house. 575 00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:52,980 its been stressful around the house. 576 00:20:53,113 --> 00:20:56,149 Aly, all this started way before 577 00:20:56,283 --> 00:20:58,285 any of... this. 578 00:20:59,620 --> 00:21:01,688 Ive just been feeling frustrated with my life... 579 00:21:01,822 --> 00:21:04,058 you know, my job, and... 580 00:21:05,192 --> 00:21:06,393 Mike is.... 581 00:21:07,561 --> 00:21:09,129 Okay, look. 582 00:21:09,763 --> 00:21:10,794 I am so sick of being 583 00:21:10,794 --> 00:21:11,898 I am so sick of being 584 00:21:12,032 --> 00:21:14,101 the only adult in my relationship. 585 00:21:14,235 --> 00:21:16,737 I didnt sign up to mother my husband. 586 00:21:16,870 --> 00:21:19,906 And then, you know, once lockdown started, 587 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,808 it just got really intense in the house, 588 00:21:21,942 --> 00:21:22,794 like, exponentially more intense. 589 00:21:22,794 --> 00:21:24,645 like, exponentially more intense. 590 00:21:24,779 --> 00:21:26,314 And, you know, 591 00:21:26,447 --> 00:21:28,794 when we realized that it wasnt gonna end anytime soon, 592 00:21:28,794 --> 00:21:29,316 when we realized that it wasnt gonna end anytime soon, 593 00:21:29,449 --> 00:21:31,618 we just, um, 594 00:21:32,185 --> 00:21:34,788 we... we broke quarantine, and... 595 00:21:36,157 --> 00:21:38,459 And Jags came over, and... 596 00:21:38,859 --> 00:21:40,794 we all had a little wine, and... 597 00:21:40,794 --> 00:21:40,894 we all had a little wine, and... 598 00:21:42,829 --> 00:21:43,797 got a little high. 599 00:21:43,931 --> 00:21:46,433 Okay. Before you continue, 600 00:21:47,335 --> 00:21:48,969 I think Im gonna need to sit down. 601 00:21:49,102 --> 00:21:51,171 Nothing happened. Okay? 602 00:21:51,305 --> 00:21:52,794 Jesus, Abby. 603 00:21:52,794 --> 00:21:53,374 Jesus, Abby. 604 00:21:53,507 --> 00:21:57,243 Its just Jags does so much for me around the house, 605 00:21:57,377 --> 00:21:58,794 you know, and hes really good with helping with Meg and Matty, 606 00:21:58,794 --> 00:22:01,015 you know, and hes really good with helping with Meg and Matty, 607 00:22:01,148 --> 00:22:04,794 and Meg actually likes talking to him. 608 00:22:04,794 --> 00:22:04,818 and Meg actually likes talking to him. 609 00:22:05,986 --> 00:22:09,156 Things just got a lot easier having him around. 610 00:22:13,260 --> 00:22:14,528 For all of us. 611 00:22:14,661 --> 00:22:16,497 Hey, hey, hey. Aly, look at me. 612 00:22:16,630 --> 00:22:16,794 Look at me. 613 00:22:16,794 --> 00:22:17,698 Look at me. 614 00:22:17,832 --> 00:22:20,034 I love you, okay? 615 00:22:20,167 --> 00:22:22,169 And youre gonna be all right. 616 00:22:23,237 --> 00:22:26,073 And look, Im not saying that its not normal 617 00:22:26,206 --> 00:22:27,575 to be frustrated with Mike. 618 00:22:27,708 --> 00:22:28,794 Its valid. Just... but Jags? 619 00:22:28,794 --> 00:22:30,377 Its valid. Just... but Jags? 620 00:22:30,511 --> 00:22:31,512 Oh, God. 621 00:22:31,645 --> 00:22:33,380 I mean... Jags. 622 00:22:33,514 --> 00:22:34,794 [Aly] I know. 623 00:22:34,794 --> 00:22:34,882 [Aly] I know. 624 00:22:35,015 --> 00:22:36,816 Okay, I mean, he has a SCUBA license. 625 00:22:36,950 --> 00:22:38,452 -That is cool. -True. [soft chuckle] 626 00:22:38,585 --> 00:22:39,986 Hes very kind to his mother, 627 00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:40,794 which I find very nice in a straight man 628 00:22:40,794 --> 00:22:42,089 which I find very nice in a straight man 629 00:22:42,222 --> 00:22:44,925 whos single and in his 40s. 630 00:22:45,058 --> 00:22:46,794 And he also has... 631 00:22:46,794 --> 00:22:47,227 And he also has... 632 00:22:48,061 --> 00:22:50,630 Look, were just figuring things out. Okay? 633 00:22:50,764 --> 00:22:52,199 Were just figuring out, thats all. 634 00:22:52,332 --> 00:22:52,794 And you know what? Maybe you could have 635 00:22:52,794 --> 00:22:54,200 And you know what? Maybe you could have 636 00:22:54,334 --> 00:22:56,336 a little bit more of an open mind. 637 00:22:56,470 --> 00:22:58,705 Oh, youre doing a little role reversal here. 638 00:22:58,839 --> 00:22:59,907 I dont care for it. 639 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:01,442 Im gonna put my foot down. 640 00:23:01,575 --> 00:23:02,609 Girls! 641 00:23:02,743 --> 00:23:04,011 Come over here! 642 00:23:04,145 --> 00:23:04,794 Im telling the one about the carrot! 643 00:23:04,794 --> 00:23:05,246 Im telling the one about the carrot! 644 00:23:05,379 --> 00:23:06,346 [laughs] 645 00:23:06,479 --> 00:23:07,547 Thats my favorite one. 646 00:23:07,681 --> 00:23:08,749 Oh, please dont encourage him. 647 00:23:08,882 --> 00:23:10,184 So the dog had eaten the carrot. 648 00:23:10,317 --> 00:23:10,794 And then, like, probably peed on it, 649 00:23:10,794 --> 00:23:12,019 And then, like, probably peed on it, 650 00:23:12,153 --> 00:23:13,588 and I was like, "Oh, where did I get this carrot?" 651 00:23:13,721 --> 00:23:16,523 -Oh, my God. -[chuckles] 652 00:23:20,694 --> 00:23:22,563 Um... 653 00:23:23,664 --> 00:23:25,366 I dont know. 654 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,794 But I was really feeling... 655 00:23:28,794 --> 00:23:28,936 But I was really feeling... 656 00:23:31,638 --> 00:23:32,973 desperation. 657 00:23:33,107 --> 00:23:34,794 Like I couldnt just have him walk away. 658 00:23:34,794 --> 00:23:35,976 Like I couldnt just have him walk away. 659 00:23:36,110 --> 00:23:39,913 It was like, I have to do something or say something. 660 00:23:40,915 --> 00:23:42,449 And what did you say? 661 00:23:43,750 --> 00:23:45,418 [exhales] 662 00:23:46,052 --> 00:23:46,794 I yelled out his deadname. 663 00:23:46,794 --> 00:23:48,088 I yelled out his deadname. 664 00:23:48,955 --> 00:23:50,023 And then what happened? 665 00:23:50,156 --> 00:23:51,758 You heard what I said, right? 666 00:23:51,892 --> 00:23:52,794 Then what happened? 667 00:23:52,794 --> 00:23:53,127 Then what happened? 668 00:23:53,260 --> 00:23:54,862 I yelled out his deadname. 669 00:23:54,995 --> 00:23:56,463 Yes, I heard. 670 00:23:56,596 --> 00:23:58,465 You do know what a deadname is, right, Dr. Joy? 671 00:23:58,599 --> 00:23:58,794 I mean, I checked out your website. 672 00:23:58,794 --> 00:24:00,334 I mean, I checked out your website. 673 00:24:00,468 --> 00:24:02,403 It says you work with a lot of trans people and like... 674 00:24:02,536 --> 00:24:04,137 Yes, I have many trans patients. 675 00:24:04,271 --> 00:24:04,794 Im trans. I know what a deadname is. 676 00:24:04,794 --> 00:24:06,173 Im trans. I know what a deadname is. 677 00:24:06,306 --> 00:24:08,241 What Im hearing is that you made a mistake. 678 00:24:08,375 --> 00:24:09,943 A mistake? 679 00:24:10,077 --> 00:24:10,794 No, this wasnt a mistake. 680 00:24:10,794 --> 00:24:12,613 No, this wasnt a mistake. 681 00:24:12,746 --> 00:24:15,315 I look back at that moment, 682 00:24:15,449 --> 00:24:16,794 that horrible, 683 00:24:16,794 --> 00:24:16,984 that horrible, 684 00:24:17,117 --> 00:24:18,952 heinous and hurtful act 685 00:24:19,086 --> 00:24:20,854 that I did, 686 00:24:20,988 --> 00:24:22,794 and the only thing more outrageous than 687 00:24:22,794 --> 00:24:22,890 and the only thing more outrageous than 688 00:24:23,023 --> 00:24:24,925 what a giant piece of shit I am 689 00:24:25,058 --> 00:24:27,461 is that I didnt go fucking straight home 690 00:24:27,594 --> 00:24:28,794 and check the fuck out. 691 00:24:28,794 --> 00:24:29,729 and check the fuck out. 692 00:24:29,863 --> 00:24:32,566 Only a monumental piece of shit 693 00:24:32,699 --> 00:24:34,794 could live with themselves after what they had done. 694 00:24:34,794 --> 00:24:35,602 could live with themselves after what they had done. 695 00:24:36,937 --> 00:24:38,472 What I did. 696 00:24:39,039 --> 00:24:40,794 Okay, okay. 697 00:24:40,794 --> 00:24:41,475 Okay, okay. 698 00:24:42,976 --> 00:24:45,946 So what is Chriss deadname? 699 00:24:46,947 --> 00:24:48,149 I beg your pardon? 700 00:24:48,282 --> 00:24:49,883 Tell me Chriss deadname. 701 00:24:50,017 --> 00:24:51,785 What is it? 702 00:24:51,919 --> 00:24:52,794 Have you lost your mind? 703 00:24:52,794 --> 00:24:53,187 Have you lost your mind? 704 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,489 Im not gonna tell you Chriss deadname. 705 00:24:56,189 --> 00:24:58,591 Of course you wont. 706 00:24:58,725 --> 00:24:58,794 Why would you? 707 00:24:58,794 --> 00:24:59,726 Why would you? 708 00:25:01,028 --> 00:25:04,498 Cause youre not a horrible, heinous and hurtful, 709 00:25:05,298 --> 00:25:07,267 monumental piece of shit. 710 00:25:08,701 --> 00:25:10,470 You-- You wrote that all down? 711 00:25:11,705 --> 00:25:13,874 You get good at note-taking in this business. 712 00:25:14,007 --> 00:25:16,443 -[timer beeping] -Wha--? 713 00:25:17,578 --> 00:25:19,947 That went way faster than I thought it would. 714 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,794 Abby, I can hear how much emotional hurt 715 00:25:22,794 --> 00:25:23,317 Abby, I can hear how much emotional hurt 716 00:25:23,450 --> 00:25:26,187 youre carrying regarding this one event. 717 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,288 I can tell its a deep pain. 718 00:25:28,956 --> 00:25:30,491 But as a queer woman 719 00:25:30,624 --> 00:25:34,294 with a strong tendency towards non-binary ways of being, 720 00:25:34,427 --> 00:25:34,794 I would encourage you to apply a little bit of that queering 721 00:25:34,794 --> 00:25:37,531 I would encourage you to apply a little bit of that queering 722 00:25:37,665 --> 00:25:39,867 towards your extremely black-and-white, 723 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:40,794 good-or-evil judgment on this 724 00:25:40,794 --> 00:25:42,302 good-or-evil judgment on this 725 00:25:42,436 --> 00:25:44,971 We dont live in a binary world, Abby. 726 00:25:46,307 --> 00:25:46,794 Thats something I often have to remind myself of too. 727 00:25:46,794 --> 00:25:49,409 Thats something I often have to remind myself of too. 728 00:25:49,910 --> 00:25:50,978 And maybe 729 00:25:51,111 --> 00:25:52,679 its something we can work on 730 00:25:52,813 --> 00:25:54,781 if youd like to make another appointment. 731 00:25:54,915 --> 00:25:56,483 Yeah. 732 00:25:57,284 --> 00:25:58,794 Id really like to do that. 733 00:25:58,794 --> 00:25:59,219 Id really like to do that. 734 00:25:59,986 --> 00:26:02,589 Maybe we could even find a regular time? 735 00:26:47,234 --> 00:26:49,603 [soft rock music playing] 736 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:02,082 [screams] 737 00:27:02,783 --> 00:27:04,794 ♪♪ Cold ♪♪ 738 00:27:04,794 --> 00:27:05,720 ♪♪ Cold ♪♪ 739 00:27:05,853 --> 00:27:10,724 ♪♪ When it starts to change the leaves ♪♪ 740 00:27:10,857 --> 00:27:13,393 ♪♪ I start ♪♪ 741 00:27:14,395 --> 00:27:16,794 ♪♪ To see ♪♪ 742 00:27:16,794 --> 00:27:17,030 ♪♪ To see ♪♪ 743 00:27:17,163 --> 00:27:20,033 ♪♪ You in my dreams ♪♪ 744 00:27:20,167 --> 00:27:22,236 ♪♪ They carved some words ♪ 745 00:27:22,369 --> 00:27:22,794 ♪♪ Into a stone ♪♪ 746 00:27:22,794 --> 00:27:24,304 ♪♪ Into a stone ♪♪ 747 00:27:24,438 --> 00:27:27,807 ♪♪ After you left for the great unknown ♪♪ 748 00:27:27,941 --> 00:27:28,794 ♪♪ I really hoped it would mean somethin ♪♪ 749 00:27:28,794 --> 00:27:33,580 ♪♪ I really hoped it would mean somethin ♪♪ 750 00:27:35,382 --> 00:27:39,286 ♪♪ Smoking another cigarette 751 00:27:39,419 --> 00:27:40,794 ♪♪ I read the auburn epitaphs 752 00:27:40,794 --> 00:27:43,356 ♪♪ I read the auburn epitaphs 753 00:27:43,490 --> 00:27:46,794 ♪♪ I pause to feel the gravity ♪ 754 00:27:46,794 --> 00:27:47,327 ♪♪ I pause to feel the gravity ♪ 755 00:27:47,460 --> 00:27:51,298 ♪♪ That permeates a part of me ♪ 756 00:27:51,432 --> 00:27:52,794 ♪♪ So... ♪♪ 757 00:27:52,794 --> 00:27:53,333 ♪♪ So... ♪♪ 758 00:27:53,466 --> 00:27:57,336 ♪♪ I press my pen into the page ♪♪ 759 00:27:57,470 --> 00:27:58,794 ♪♪ Pretending that these words cant change ♪♪ 760 00:27:58,794 --> 00:28:01,008 ♪♪ Pretending that these words cant change ♪♪ 761 00:28:01,058 --> 00:28:05,608 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0